Handling big emotions: what actually helps
Big emotions aren't problems to solve - they're signals to attend to.
Handling big emotions: what actually helps
Big emotions can feel overwhelming. Anger. Grief. Anxiety. Fear. When they hit, it's easy to want to escape, suppress, or act out. But there's a better way - and it starts with understanding what emotions are actually for.
Emotions are data
Emotions aren't problems to solve - they're signals to attend to.
They tell you:
• what matters to you
• what boundaries have been crossed
• what needs aren't being met
• what's calling for your attention
The goal isn't to eliminate emotions. It's to understand them.
What doesn't help
• Suppressing (pushing emotions down)
• Avoiding (distracting or numbing)
• Ruminating (looping in thought without resolution)
• Acting out (lashing out or self-destructing)
These provide temporary relief - but make things worse long-term.
What actually helps
1. Name it to tame it - labeling emotions reduces their intensity.
2. Feel it in the body - emotions live in the body. Locate where you feel it.
3. Breathe slowly - long exhales calm the nervous system.
4. Move - physical movement helps process emotional energy.
5. Express it - journaling, talking, crying, creating.
6. Self-compassion - "This is hard. I'm allowed to feel this."
The 90-second rule
Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor says the chemical lifespan of an emotion is about 90 seconds.
After that, what keeps it going is thought.
If you can feel the wave without adding stories, it passes faster than you think.
After the storm
Once the intensity passes:
• Reflect on what triggered it
• Ask what it's telling you
• Consider if action is needed
• Rest and recover
Big emotions are exhausting. Honor that.
Key Takeaway
Big emotions aren't problems to solve - they're signals to attend to.
Feel them. Name them. Move through them.
And trust that you can handle more than you think.
Small daily habits.
Massive emotional returns.
Everything you need to create a life of balance, purpose and fulfilment. Sign up for 1:1 coaching with me today.