When did you last do something just for the joy of it?

When did you last laugh so much you couldn’t finish a sentence? Do something a little ridiculous? Go somewhere you’d never been, follow your curiosity, or lose track of time because you were having so much fun?

We can become very good at managing a life. We organise, work, care for people, pay bills and keep things moving. But somewhere in all of that, we can forget to enjoy being here. Fun becomes something we’ll get around to when we’ve finished everything else. Adventure gets pushed into next year. Joy becomes a reward we have to earn by being productive enough first.

I don’t want to keep putting my life in that waiting room. I want to feel it while I’m living it. The small, ordinary moments as well as the big ones that leave me thinking, I’ll remember this forever.

There is a particular kind of joy that draws you completely into the moment. Laughing with a friend until neither of you can speak. Getting absorbed in painting, gardening, baking or making something with your hands. Hearing a song you love and finding yourself dancing before you’ve even thought about it. A child’s delighted giggle or a puppy bounding towards you, all paws and enthusiasm. Different experiences, but each can bring that lovely feeling of being fully here.

For those few moments, your attention is right there. You’re enjoying the conversation, feeling the soil between your fingers, watching colour spread across a page, or throwing the ball again. You aren’t checking whether you’re doing life properly. You’re in it. There is something so lovely about discovering that an ordinary moment can hold so much pleasure.

Sometimes another person brings out that playful part of us. The friend you can be ridiculous with, who remembers your old stories and makes you laugh at things nobody else would understand. Sometimes a hobby opens the door: you become curious, experiment, make a mess and forget to watch the clock. Children and animals can remind us too, through their fascination with things we’ve stopped noticing. There are so many ways to rediscover that sense of wonder, and yours doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

Remember what that felt like when you were a kid? Riding your bike with nowhere important to go. Making up dances. Running because you could. Getting absorbed in building something, splashing about, or inventing a game that made perfect sense to you and absolutely no sense to anyone else. Before you started worrying about whether you looked silly, whether you were any good, or whether your time could be spent more usefully.

That part of you deserves some room now. You can dance in the kitchen, sing badly, try something you haven’t mastered, or laugh at yourself while you learn. You can be a responsible adult and still be playful. You don’t have to turn every interest into a skill, every hobby into an income, or every spare hour into an opportunity to improve yourself. Some things can simply be fun.

And yes, we need to plan for them. It might sound strange to put joy in your diary, but look at what already gets a place there. Meetings, appointments, deadlines, obligations. If the things you love are always left to whatever time remains, there may be very little time left. Book the concert. Arrange the walk with your friend. Choose a date for the day out. Start making a realistic plan for the trip you keep talking about. Give yourself something to look forward to, and protect it with the same care you give your other commitments.

The bigger adventures often need that intention. They may need money saved, arrangements made, or the courage to invite someone along or go by yourself. A wish can sit in your head for years until you take the first practical step. You don’t need to organise the whole thing today, but you can find out what it would take. You can turn “one day” into a date, or at least into a beginning.

At the same time, leave space for the unexpected. Take the invitation when you can. Stop to watch the sunset. Go down the path you’re curious about. Stay a little longer when you’re having a lovely time. Sometimes spontaneity is as simple as allowing a good moment to interrupt your plan. Everything doesn’t need to be decided in advance for you to say yes to it.

There are seasons when money is tight, energy is low, or your responsibilities leave very little room. Joy can still have a place, even if it’s a smaller one than you’d like. A favourite song played loud enough to dance to. Tea outside on a bright morning. A game with a child. A borrowed dog for a walk. An hour with someone who makes you laugh. These moments count in their own right. You don’t have to wait for a spectacular holiday to have a life you enjoy.

Perhaps the useful question is: what actually feels fun to me now? Not what looks impressive in a photograph, or what I think I ought to enjoy. What makes me curious? Who do I feel playful around? What did I love as a child that I’d like to try again? Your answers may have changed. Give yourself the chance to find out, without needing to be good at any of it.

I think this is part of what it means to truly live: to make room for experiences that move you, amuse you, surprise you and bring you close to other people or to yourself. To have stories to tell, and quiet moments you keep just for yourself. To be absorbed in something you love, share a laugh with someone who understands you, or pause somewhere beautiful and realise that for this moment there is nowhere else you want to be.

There will always be more to do. We can spend years waiting until we’re less busy, more confident, better prepared. Meanwhile, there are people we could be making memories with and things we’d love to experience. Some need a plan. Some need a spontaneous yes. Both need us to give them a place in the life we’re living now.

So make one plan for something you’re excited about. Leave a little room for surprise. Call the friend, pick up the paintbrush, explore somewhere new, or get on the floor with the child or the puppy. Be willing to look silly. Remember how it feels to play, and let yourself stay there for a while.